Lars Martin tells that he has stopped asking himself why. Now he’s trying to figure out how to move on.
The Sun Was Shining Outside – Then Everything Went Black That fateful afternoon was six years ago. The sun was shining outside and spring was finally on its way. That summer, he was supposed to take a series of final exams to become a teacher.
Lars Martin was in a hurry. He ran up the steps to his one-room apartment in Oslo, but didn’t notice that someone had opened the fire escape window on the landing. He barrelled head-first into the sharp corner of the open window. Everything went black.
Full of Pain, Drained of Energy
The days following the accident, Lars Martin had serious head pain.
“I just couldn’t stand the thought of giving up when I could already see the finish line,” tells Lars Martin. “I pushed myself through all my final exams, with varying success.”
That decision was to become a source of bitter regret. He didn’t get better after a week, a month, or even after six months. He was full of pain and drained of energy.
“I was completely exhausted; I would faint on the bus ride home, throw-up, and mostly just lie on the sofa, or my cell as I started calling it after a while.”
Set Routines and a Lot of Rest Before the accident, Lars Martin was always energetic. He went to a sports high school and was active in several different sports. He was the front man for several different bands, and made extra money playing at the local pub a couple times a month. When the accident happened, he was studying music at Staffeldsgate University College. He was a lively and fun friend to have.
Photo: Chul Christian Aamodt
“These days, I tire easily and feel woozy in social settings, which also makes me seem unsocial and closed-off,” tells Lars Martin. “I can’t manage to work full time as a teacher. I can’t drive in the dark. I can’t play sports like I used to. If there is too much noise and movement around me, my mind just shuts down. In my daily life, I am dependent on set routines and a lot of rest. At the age of 30, my life has a lot in common with a pensioner.”
You Have to Be in Good Shape to Be Sick Lars Martin has been through innumerable medical examinations; nothing has helped. Doctors, neurologists, and specialists at Sunnaas Hospital all have different theories, but no solution. He has emptied his bank account trying various treatment methods – with no results.
“I’ve come to realise that you have to be in good shape to be sick. You use up your time, money, and energy clutching at too many meaningless straws,” tells Lars Martin. “I have probably been given just as many diagnoses as I have had doctors. If they know what is wrong with me, why use time explaining something they can’t do anything about?”
Like Your Head Is in a Wheelchair Lars Martin has often thought that he would be better off having an injury people could see.
“My problem seems so diffuse when no doctor can manage to make a clear diagnosis,” tells Lars Martin. “It is difficult for those around me to understand. It is like your head is in a wheelchair. While I was at Sunnaas Hospital, I talked with people who were suffering from much of the same as I was. One of them told me that one time he decided to wear a sling on his arm just to get some care and compassion. It worked.”
A Ladybug Constantly Climbing Upwards Immediately after the accident, Lars Martin was sure his problems would pass. “Some weeks I felt like I was getting better, but there was always a relapse. I feel like a ladybug constantly climbing upwards on a child’s hand. When the ladybug is almost to the top, the child turns her hand around; the ladybug turns around too, starting all over again, climbing upwards, in the opposite direction.”
“I have never lost hope of getting better. I grew up believing in a caring God,” tells Lars Martin. “The strain of recent years has had a big impact on my idea of God and my personal faith. I look at a lot of things in life differently now. I no longer ask, ‘Why me?’ but rather – ‘Why not?’ I still have faith, but it has changed.”
She Is Certainly Entitled to Complain Too Despite everything, the accident has also given Lars Martin a certain sense of security.
“My wife, Bente, has been enormously supportive. The accident changed her life as well. I have changed in many ways, but Bente has stood by me. She’s fantastic. She carries me when I am not strong enough. We vowed to support each other ‘for better or worse’ when we were married. I look forward to the ‘better’. In my situation, I can easily end up focusing on myself. It is important for Bente to understand that I don’t have a monopoly on being sick. She is certainly entitled to complain too!”
Photo: Chul Christian Aamodt
Why HSE? Before the accident, Lars Martin often helped out as a musician at Mintra’s customer events, so a lot of Mintra’s customers have met Lars Martin – before the accident. Lars Martin agreed to share some of his thoughts to help the readers of Trainingportal Magazine understand why HSE work is so incredibly important.
“I lost a lot of what I loved in life because of a meaningless accident,” tells Lars Martin. “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I would give anything to turn back the clock, walk slowly up the stairs, close the window, and keep on walking – up and out into the summer. Now I understand, unfortunately, that when you don’t have your health, most everything else seems insignificant. That’s what HSE is all about. It is about our lives.”
